ON MY BEHALF was never meant to be published. It was merely a journal for my venting. Nothing formal. My intent was to bring my life to light to myself and hopefully band-aid some old gaping wounds.

As I was writing, however, I had an epiphany. I thought ever-so-reluctantly: What if my story mattered to someone, even helped them to realize things about themselves that would have otherwise been swept under the rug and ignored? Wouldn’t that be worth publishing? It suddenly dawned on me that writing is actually quite pointless without publishing it, because there is no hope of anyone other than myself benefiting.

And, so here I am: four years into writing this on again off again memoir and three more years in the hands of my publisher. The time has finally come for it to be released. Sometimes humorous, sometimes intense, ON MY BEHALF recounts the crucial experiences that molded and shaped me as a person.

I earnestly and naively took my chances at every crossroad I encountered in early adulthood whether it was with dating, work, or friendship…for me, it was a gamble every time.

In ON MY BEHALF, I reveal my personal beliefs and biases with zero sugarcoating (I only sugarcoat when it comes to my poetry because that is the nature of poetry: getting the point across without being too direct). ON MY BEHALF is far from poetic in the sense that it was written exactly the way I would have said it. It's my internal dialogue slapped onto pages. I recall the hardships and endeavors without ever forgetting the indignity originally associated with these incidents. ON MY BEHALF details every key event from my shoplifting days to my fumbling romances to career failure to my inability to commit to anyone or anything. In retrospect, I believe I have experienced about every good, bad, and bitter emotion known to man.

Please don’t judge this memoir by the my age. Some lives are lived more furiously than others. Not to say that’s a good or bad thing. Take what you will from this book. Take it at face value if you prefer. I deny nothing. This is my story and I gladly share it with you.

Helen Doan - Author of ON MY BEHALF (Savant 2012)